Telling Myself a Different Story: A Memoir Counterfactual
Hey! I’m back once again with another post, you guys bored of me yet? Anyways, for today's blog post we had to listen to a Hidden Brain episode that will help with our narrative project we are working on. The episode was about a woman who loved to ski with her friends and husband. They didn’t just ski on regular mountains with a ski lift, they went out and hiked up their own mountains where there was no safety patrol or anyone really, just themselves. The Women is telling a story about how her husband died in an avalanche, and how her thoughts about the accident haunt her. The woman thinks about what could have happened if they were to do something differently that day, or how her husband is not actually dead… She's Counterfactual Thinking which is, a concept in psychology that involves the human tendency to create possible alternatives to life events that have already occurred; something that is contrary to what actually happened. For my memoir I will be writing about the time me and some friends got caught by the cops before even getting to this abandoned place we were going to explore… Narrative project If I were to know this cop pulling us over was going to save our asses, I wouldn't have been so worried in the moment. See now its funny...Because if that cop didn't pull us over, we could have been in big trouble... Which is the opposite of what you would think, right? If she let us keep walking down that old vacant road, we could have been taken to the local police station for all I know. Like what if she just drove by with out a care for what we were doing... That cop honestly saved us... She was at the right place, at the right time. I'm very thankful for that. Exploring abandoned places can be fun, but you have to be willing to face risk. To this day I think of the "what if's..." The things that could have happened that day if something else were to happen, or if things were to go about differently... The "What If's..."
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Composing an Emotional Scene with Dialogue and Symbolism Hey what's up, I'm back again with another blog post! For this blog post we had to read a short story called, Hills like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway. We also had to read To You, I Belong (Becky Thompson), What is Creative Nonfiction? (Lee Gutkind), What is Memoir?, The Fundamental Differences between Memoir and Autobiography , Making Scenes in Memoir (Lee Martin), My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou). Some themes I noticed in the reading were worry and tension. My scene has those themes as well. Before you begin reading I'm going to set the scene for you. It's 2016... Summer is about to end and school is about to start back up again. It’s my freshman year of high school and my parents convinced me to join the field hockey team. I've been playing field hockey for a few years, and have even played ice hockey, but I was really nervous about high school field hockey. Me and my mom were sitting in her black flex, I was staring down at everyone on the field not wanting to get out of the car as my mom was telling me to just go down to the field, and that everything will be okay… Field Hockey Think, think, think… If only I could stop thinking! I can feel my body start to tense up and my head getting dizzy. My mom just pulled into the school parking lot and I’m soon going to have to get out of the car and make my way down to the field… “Were here” says my mom, “are you ready for your first practice?” I freeze up and don't speak. I’m thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong… My mind is on think, think ,think mode and it won't stop. I can feel my mom's eyes staring at me waiting for my response, but I just don't want to say anything, I just want to go home. “Erin are you okay?” she asks. “Yes I’m fine” I’m not actually fine, I’m screaming in my head... “Well then are you ready for your first practice!” says my mom energetically. “Yeah I guess…” “You were so excited to start playing again… why are you acting this way?” Well you see... I’m acting this way because now that I see the whole team down there and see a bunch of upperclassmen, I am now scared shitless to go down and meet them all! Is what I wanted to say… “Oh.. I’m just a little nervous” is what I actually said lol... “This is how everyone gets before they do something new, you will be fine” says my mom, erging me to get out of the car. I sit there in silence waiting for my mom to say something else. I don't want to say anything back because I don't want to talk about why I’m nervous. I don’t like talking about my problems, and just want to figure this out on my own… I can't stop Think, think, thinking... “Erin… you're gonna have to get out of the car whether you want to or not...” My mom wasn't going to drive me home anyway, I know that for a fact… I know she wants me to get out of the car… And I know she knows If I don't do this it will bother me forever. “I’m going to get out,” I say... “Just give me a moment” We both sit there in silence for about a minute until my mom finally says, “You know you're going to regret not getting out of this car and joining the team… It may seem scary, but you will get comfortable eventually, and you even have your friend Karli playing as well!” I do agree with what my mom is saying, and I am happy that I have a friend by my side… So I finally built up the courage and got out of the car… I’m standing on the concrete with my green field hockey bag over my shoulder and a water bottle in my hand. I’m nervously waving by to my mom instantly regretting getting out of the car, but there's no turning back now... As I’m walking down to the field I stare down at the ground too nervous to look up… Once I get down there I meet with the coach and then sit on the bench waiting for their instructions. I’m sitting with my friend Karli and some other girls in our grade… My nervousness is calming down and I’m enjoying my time with everyone! We ended up doing a timed lap around the field and I had the fastest time… I started to feel confident and was happy I got out of the car! Joining this team changed my life, I’m so glad I got out of that car… I don’t think I would have made it though my four years of high school without them. We all had such a strong bond, especially my junior year, that was one of the best seasons. I was known as the goofball on the team, I loved making everyone laugh. I also had lots of breakaways and scored a hat trick against our rival team… I was a pretty good player If I do say so myself! Anyways… Even if you are too nervous to do something, or don’t think you can do it… Just do it! You don't want to miss out on great opportunities and fun things life can give to you... Don't let your Think, think, thinking get to you... |
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